October 2005 Sermon Notes

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD. Proverbs 18:22

A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6:14-15

… we instructed you how to live in order to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like [people], who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit. 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. Malachi 2:15

Back to the top

October 8, 2005 Strong Marriages:
Getting a Marriage Makeover

Find the right person by…

1. Being the right person
2. Looking only in the family of God
3. Committing to moral purity and lifelong relationship

Marriage Predicaments

I am married to the wrong person

1. They are not a believer

I Corinthians 7:12 - 16

… if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 1 Peter 3:1-2

2. We are incompatible

But it [divorce] certainly isn't God's way. For from the very first he made man and woman to be joined together permanently in marriage; … And no man may separate what God has joined together. Mark 10:6, 9 TLB

I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.
Matthew 19:9

I am not fit for marriage

I am unfaithful

… anyone who even looks at a woman with lust in his eye has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:28 NLT

A man who commits adultery destroys himself
Proverbs 6:26 RYP

Marriages struggle because of …

1. Unrealistic expectations

2. Underestimated differences

3. Unresolved issues

4. Unforgiven mistakes

Learn to forgive quickly and continuing

1. Receive forgiveness so you can dispense forgiveness

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

Matthew 18:23 - 35

2. Feelings are fickle … but they do follow actions

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

3. Believe in miracles

Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible. Matthew 19:26 NLT

Back to the top

October 16, 2005
Strong Marriages:Meeting Needs

Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 The Amplified Bible

Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church — a love marked by giving, not getting. Ephesians 5:25 The Message

A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other's needs.
1 Corinthians 7:3 Today’s English Version

We fail to meet one another’s needs out of ignorance

Basic needs of men and women in marriage
1. A wife needs affection
2. A husband needs physical affection
3. A husband needs recreational companionship
4. A wife needs conversation
5. A husband needs admiration
6. A wife needs honesty and openness
7. A wife needs family commitment
8. A husband needs household management

We fail to meet one another’s needs out of selfishness

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33

Back to the top

October 23, 2005
Strong Marriages:Letting Love Live

But God's plan was seen from the beginning of creation, for 'He made them male and female.' 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one separate them, for God has joined them together. Mark 10:6-9

Steer clear of emotional affairs
An emotional affair is

1. Doing things with another person I wouldn't do with my spouse present

2. Sharing things that I don't share with my spouse

3. Making an effort to spend time together

4. Keeping details secret

Tips to remain faithful

1. Be friendly but don’t flirt

2. Limit contact

3. Refuse to discuss marriage struggles

4. Never go out with an old flame

5. Run when a relationship needs to be “defined”

Rekindle romance!

Connect with God … together

1. Men: Learn from Jesus’ example

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 5:23

2. Women: Focus on spiritual beauty

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30

Think back to when you began

· What attracted you then?

· What happened then that you don’t do now?

You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first.
Revelation 2:4-5

Add vital dimensions to your relationship

Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
Romans 12:10 The Message Paraphrase

1. Friendship

Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love Ecclesiastes 9:9

2. Servanthood

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Philippians 2:3-5

… love is as strong as death … Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot wash it away. If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned.
Song of Songs 8:6-7

Back to the top

October 30, 2005
The High Cost of Divorce

Matthew 19:1 - 11

I am aiming for…

· People who are not married to take marriage seriously

· People who are married to work it out and stay married

· People who are divorced to find healing and wholeness

Jesus’ teaching about divorce

1. The setting: a motive behind the question
Matthew 14:3-10
2. Framing the issue: twisting God’s intent
3. Narrow exceptions
a. Unfaithfulness
b. Abandonment I Corinthians 7:15

What about abuse or addictions?
You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth.
" I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel Malachi 2:13-16

Divorce can bring
1. Spiritual blockage
2. Emotional devastation
3. Relational baggage
4. Financial hardship
5. Damage to children
6. Instability in society

God can bring healing to your marriage and to your life after a divorce

Back to the top